You are more than just a statistic

If you’re reading this article, the headline must’ve caught your attention. Put it down. You know what it is. Whether it to be the pen to write your last letter or the handful of anti-depressants your psychiatrist prescribed, just put it down, and read this.

You think it’s silly how hard it is to get out of bed. Your mind is clouded with thoughts that spiral through your head the whole day. But I think it’s amazing how you did it. How you managed to get out of your bed, brush your hair, brush your teeth, slipped on your shoes and found a way to get here. You could’ve easily flopped back into bed and said “Maybe tomorrow,” but no, you did it today.

You think it’s silly how it takes so much to do simple things, such as eating, keeping personal hygiene or maintaining friendships and relationships. Everyone around you asks, “Why can’t you just do it?” and in your head, you start asking yourself the same question.

How do you explain to someone that you want to live, but even though everything may seem fine on the outside, that just everything is crumbling on the inside? How do you explain to your closest friends that you’re miserable around them even though you force a laugh through your teeth? How do you tell your parents that when you’re around them, you feel judged and maybe that you were just a mistake of production? How do you tell yourself that you’re so ugly inside and out with every single flaw in the book? Yeah, how do you manage to do that every day?

Well, it started off slowly.

It started off like a ghost that followed your every step, but that ghost was so sneaky that you never noticed it was just knocking down everything in your life behind each footstep. Then it grew into something bigger, almost possessing you. It became something that only stuck around to suck every ounce of happiness from you. It became the word that’s so easily tossed around, a word that might almost lose its true meaning: depression.

No, not the “my parents took my phone; I’m so depressed” or the “I can’t believe I failed this test!” as your ‘friends’ laugh with their friends down the hall. The “I really can’t get out of bed and find the motivation to do ‘life’ today” kind of depression. The depression that sends you to your therapist to understand what’s wrong with you. The depression your psychiatrist treats with Zoloft and Prozac. The depression that makes you feel the way you do. Yes, I’m talking about the one that kills almost 800,000 people every year. This makes suicide the second leading cause of death for ages 15-29. Don’t add to that rapidly growing statistic.

There’s no magic pill or magic routine to follow to get rid of depression. It’s just there. It may be there for about six months of your time, or it may be there for your whole life. The only thing you can do is learn how to cope with it. Learn how to love yourself with it. Learn how to love others with it.

Loving yourself can be simple as eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It can be taking an hour bath. It can be reading your favorite book or even a new book. Loving others can be simple as greeting them with a hello. It can be ordering yourself food and making small talk with the cashier. It’s the little things that add up that can change a life.

Whether it be friends, your parents, teachers, guidance counselors or so many other, there are people here for you.

We see and hear the signs. We want to help, even if you think you’re all alone. I can’t stress this enough: You aren’t alone.

If you’ve gotten to the end of this article, I hope the pen was instead to do maybe your homework or to draw. I hope the pills were put back in its cupboard, waiting for you the next morning, or whenever your psychiatrist instructed you to take them.

As Emily Dickinson says, “Hope is the thing with feathers. That perches in the soul. And sings the tune without the words. And never stops at all.” That little ray of hope that opens up in your soul is what opens up more and more as your depression eases away. I hope it blossoms into more than just a ray. I hope it overwhelms your heart, so it can guide you away from the past that tore you down.

If you’re having suicidal thoughts, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, or reach out to a loved one as soon as possible.