The biggest thing I’ve had to accept in my 15 years, 10 months and two days of living, is that you can’t control everything. You just can’t. No matter how hard you try to control every aspect of your life, things will happen that you didn’t plan for and you definitely didn’t want to happen, but you have to roll with the punches. You have to accept it.

I like to be in control of everything. I like to have a plan at all times; I don’t believe in the “just wing it” philosophy. I’m not a big fan of surprises, and I hate being totally blindsided by things. But, especially since I started high school, I’ve come to the harsh reality that life doesn’t work like that. There are always unknowns, but how you deal with those unscripted moments shows a lot about your character. You’ve got to be able to bounce back.

We all have to learn to accept things and move on. You can’t sit and pout just because something didn’t go your way. Don’t dwell on the bad things that happen to you because even though you may think it’s the end of the world, that one event probably isn’t life-altering. If someone picks another person over you, go meet a new friend. If you get a bad grade, ask your teacher what you did wrong and work harder to get it right next time. If your significant other breaks up with you, cry a little and then get back to work on the things that matter the most to you. Life will be so much easier if you just accept things and then move on.

Please don’t think I’m being insensitive; trust me, I’ve been through things in my life, too. I know what it’s like to get hurt and for things to take a turn for the worst in a split second. However, I made the mistake of dwelling on the bad rather than moving on and getting on with it. I think a lot of teenagers, especially with issues relating to friends and relationships, get hung up. For me personally, I have an issue with trying to hold onto relationships when I just need to let them go. Even good things fall apart, and sometimes you just have to sit back and wait for the next good thing to come. Don’t try too hard to keep one relationship together when you know it’s over. Accept that it’s over and move on.

It’s just like they say: when one door closes, another one opens. Don’t spend four months trying to kick down the closed door like I did; turn around and look at the opportunities that are right through the open door. Leave the past be, accept what’s over and keep looking forward.